A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgery. As she lay her
pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope
and listened to the
bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook
his head sadly and said, 
I'm so sorry, Cuddles has passed away." 
 
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure? 
 
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied. 
 
"How can you be so sure," she protested. "I mean,
 you haven't done any
 testing on him or anything. He might just be in a
 coma or something." 
 
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
 room, and returned a few
 moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As
 the duck's owner looked on
 in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put
 his front paws on the
 examination table and sniffed the duck from top to
 bottom. He then looked at
 the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet
 patted the dog and took it
 out, and returned a few moments later with a
 beautiful cat. The cat jumped
 up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the
 bird. The cat sat back on
 its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
 strolled out of the room. 
 
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
 but as I said, this is
 most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." 
 
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a
 few keys and produced a
 bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner,
 still in shock, took
 the bill. "$150!", she cried, "$150 just to tell me
 my duck is dead?!!" 
 
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word
 for it, the bill would have been only $20, but what
 with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan ...."