Practical Advice:
Never buy a portable TV set on the sidewalk from a man who's out of breath.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
_____________________________
Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
At a Laundry Shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the
store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action."
On Maternity Room Door
"Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrists Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you'
ve come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."
In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
kkkkkk
Never buy a portable TV set on the sidewalk from a man who's out of breath.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
_____________________________
Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip, call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
At a Laundry Shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the
store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate
action."
On Maternity Room Door
"Push, Push, Push."
At an Optometrists Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you'
ve come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."
In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
kkkkkk
